when we lose someone we love, especially children and siblings we tend to go through 5 stages of grief. I have a link I would like you to have a look at. I am keeping you close to my heart and thoughts.
Im going to share with you my experiences here, I got stuck in stage 1 - DENIAL!!
I never moved from this stage for a very long time. I would hear my child for months afterwards in his room, I had two therapist eventually tell me that they could no longer work with me as I am in denial and a locked padlock and I would suffer a hard case of post trauma shock!! I ignored them and continued with how I thought was the best way to cope........PRETEND IT DIDNT HAPPEN. not talk about it, leave his room as is, his clothes folded where they were, toys packed beautifully in his baskets, and God helped anyone who touched any of it!!! BUT if I can give you any advise on this, I would say to you, I KNOW IT IS HARD TO FEEL, ........I KNOW!!!!!!.........BUT, TRY TALK ABOUT it, because doing what I did for years after was unhealthy and it started to affect all those around me. and yes the therapists were right, I DID HIT ROCK BOTTOM WITH PTSS (and medically, they say it is more difficult to come out of that than dealing with the death there and then!!) Try and allow yourself to FEEL just for a few minutes, and then occupy yourself with something else, if that emotion comes back, dont block it, feel it again for a little while, as painful as it is. There is no magic remedy to take away a parents pain, one parent will moarn differently to another parent, one will be in the anger phase and wont want people around, while the other parent will crave the company of others and may be in total denial....ITS HARD , VERY HARD, but dont give up. know that you are not alone, and that time allows you to accept what has happend so that you learn to live with the pain you are feeling today. you will always feel that pain, BUT you will learn coping mechanisms on how to live with it and deal with it. Remember, like I mentioned in my other writing on the blog, we are crying and in agony for our children, BUT our children are NOT, they are in a tranquil, peaceful, beautiful pain fee place watching over you everywhere you go!!! its YOU who mourns NOT YOUR CHILDREN. they are ok, they are happy. TRY FIND A LITTLE BIT OF COMFORT IN THAT MY FRIEND, if you would like to chat to me, you may email me or comment below.....
my email is: feelgoodfortoday@gmail.com
Thinking of YOU today and sending you COURAGE AND STRENGTH, you WILL BE OK!!!
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